Art to Ghat - Story of a Weekend

Christopher McCandless: You're just living, man. You're just there, in that moment, in that special place and time. Maybe when I get back, I can write a book about my travels. - Into the Wild

And here I am, yet again. Writing another blog on an awesome experience I had recently. This time it was unique. It was totally random. By random I mean really random. The crazy random. After finishing up with an Art exhibition that was organized for one of our very talented employee, the seven of us were sitting in the living room talking and planning a short trip for the next day morning.

But first lets have a little flashback in this flashback story. While a few of us were planning to go on a trip on the weekend, suddenly an art exhibition was planned. It was a real success and a lot of people of the Auryn family turned up. There was music, art, food, photography and some singing. The best thing was that I heard WTK (Why this kolaveri...) in that party for the first time by an awesomely talented member of the Auryn family.

I still remember the painting in red and black that caught my eye as soon as it was setup for the exhibition. I don't think I'll be able to get it out of my head any sooner. Anyways the exhibition went fine and the way the paintings were explained by the artist reminded me of all the things "Dexter" (a famous TV character of the show named "Dexter" by Showtime) says about the darkness and the dark passenger inside him. The painting that I liked was named "Plight of a lover".

The exhibition was over, paintings were gone, most of the people were gone too and we were back to planning our next day trip. Then suddenly someone suggested that we could leave right then. Now there was no backing out. Naneghat was finalized as the destination and cab, jackets, torches and food took no time. It was past midnight when we left the apartment.

Now came the journey. The ghats at night give a very different feeling. Especially when you know that the paths you are travelling are not safe. Sitting at the backside, I could actually feel the trailing darkness that we were leaving behind us. Jungle on one side, valley on another, middle of the night, no lights at all, rocky paths, chilling cold. The only piece of land visible to our driver was illuminated by the headlights of his own vehicle. Apart from that, no one knew what all was part of that darkness.

After a sleepless night of travelling, we finally reached our destination. It was a dead end. It actually felt like as if we have left the society behind and have arrived at a place so beautiful, full of nature, dried golden grass, vast gorgeous valley, rising sun, clear blue sky and so on. We were already late. We missed the parting of clouds/fog which leads to the amazing view of valley. The dead end was actually like a door to the nature's own show. It lead to a V shaped passage between the hills and we started descending into it. There we met some people sitting in the caves on one side and warming themselves with the fire they made.

After sessions of climbing, resting and posing we headed back to Pune. The way back was so different. It was bright and felt safe. It wasn't scary. It wasn't cold. Yea but it was still rocky and the drive felt like a very slow roller coaster. It felt really nice. We still had the fresh memories of the views and a lot of amazing pictures in our cameras. We were back on the lonely road.

The journey was still not over. That last exciting bit was still there. The road we were on lead to an amazing winery named "Ivy". Exactly twelve hours before, who knew that we will be having lunch around 150 kms from pune, sitting in a winery, sipping red wine. That the first time I had wine, so I decided to do something which goes well with wine. As I believe that happiness is only real when shared, I decided to make a toast. A toast to the amazing times, wonderful friends and happiness.

Eye for a High

Nothing happens when you sit at home. You have to make something out of the precious time you have. Whats better than capturing some of the interesting moments out of that time and making some good photographs out of them. Good photographs are not taken, they are made. You have to be fully aware of what you see. Will that look good? Will it be of any interest to other people?

Initially when I started clicking photos by borrowing cameras from my friends or from my cyber-shot cellphone, I used to do it all the time. Most of the pictures didn't even appeal a little to me. But this is how it is. You need to click hundreds or thousands of pictures before you are even remotely close to that point. The point where every photo you take is either interesting or aesthetically beautiful. But once your pictures start appealing to you  and you can evaluate them objectively, believe me, there is no better feeling. The satisfaction that you get while looking at a gorgeous picture composed by you, cannot be described in words.

Photography actually becomes a part of your personality. The way you look at things around you changes. The view finder of your camera acts as your own window to a very beautiful world. The world where every smile is special, every flight of a bird means something, sunrises and sunsets are simply magnificent, every form of architecture is exquisite, every flower and every leaf is admirable. You appreciate the nature around you. When all this happens to you, you find yourself in a happier state. Instead of waiting for some really big event to make you very happy, you actually start admiring those little things that make you a little delighted.

“The important thing is not the camera but the eye.” – Alfred Eisenstaedt

Although the output quality of your picture depends on the camera you own, but the meaning of that picture completely depends on what you saw and how you composed it. First of all, try and appreciate the camera you have. Try and take the most out of it. After that, start looking for pictures that you never saw before. When you are looking from a view finder and you feel that you saw it before, shake it up and try to do something different. Push yourself harder. Probe deeper into what you see. Find that one interesting subject or one unique thing that you think no one else can see. Beauty can be seen in all things. 

Getting more and more into photography also makes you start looking forward to everything. Every vacation, outing, camping, travel, party, etc has a new meaning for you. No matter how many good photographs you have taken, you always hope for better. You don't stop till you find your favorite photograph and that is the one you are yet to capture. The wait for that one perfect shot adds a new meaning to your life. It gets into your head and into your heart. 

Imagination also plays quite an important role in photography. There is a difference between seeing beauty and actually composing it. 

“You cannot depend on your eyes if your imagination is out of focus” – Mark Twain

Magic Moements

"...the sea's only gifts are harsh blows and, occasionally, the chance to feel strong. Now, I don't know much about the sea, but I do know that that's the way it is here. And I also know how important it is in life not necessarily to be strong but to feel strong, to measure yourself at least once, to find yourself at least once in the most ancient of human conditions, facing blind, deaf stone alone, with nothing to help you but your own hands and your own head..." - Into The Wild

Lets do a little flashback. July 29th, friday, I was in Chandigarh. Went to my job as usual. Did some work, came home, browsed some job openings, applied to a couple of places and went to sleep. On 1st of August, monday, I was home because I didn't have a job. I felt bad. It wasn't a normal day. I was at home, all by myself, thinking about the job that was not there anymore. At first, as expected, I felt really low. But then I thought, I shouldn't give up. I should prepare well and crack a couple of interviews before going home for Rakhi. Anyways, the preparation paid off and I had a couple of offers before the deadline I set. I decided to come to Pune and join this IPad apps company which I heard was doing some creative work and stuff. Thinking about the new city, the kind of work this company was doing and the whole lot of artists I was going to be with, I was too excited and couldn't wait to catch the flight to Pune.


Few days after I joined, I was standing in pantry and having coffee with this group (of some really amazing people I have ever met) I was part of in my new company and someone suggested to have a trip together. Some good ideas, some good planning over the next few days and the last weekend of September, we were on the beach. 

There was this gorgeous beach, my dSLR, an amazing group to be with, this colorful sunset, the coconut trees, and yes, the SEA. It was amazing. I could actually remember the above lines from Into The Wild and could feel what he meant to say. The sea actually makes you feel strong. When you enter into the sea and face the waves, coming towards you, one after the another, trying to push you away, you actually feel good. Its like you take a stand, you feel strong. No matter what happens, you are not afraid. You stand there and look directly into the sea. 


And there are other reasons that make you feel good too. One of which I think is that suddenly there is this background music in your life. Its not silent anymore but it feels like the most peaceful thing ever. Its like the sea talks to you. It sings to you. 


For some, the sea is a good listener too. They feel connected to it. They talk to it. They share. To some, the sea reminds them of their most beautiful memories. To others, sometimes it reopens some closed and forgotten doors that behold darkness behind them.

Then there was me, who just realized all this by being in that special moment. Apart from the sea, the thing that made it all special was the people I was with. We had a perfect group. We had an amazingly high spirited guy who organized everything and made all this possible, a sweet and simple husband with his amazing wife, a technically smart guy and my beer buddy, a tall, handsome and funny guy who brings flowers everyday to office, a budding photographer who studied photography too seriously before the trip, a gorgeous girl who was the subject for most of the portraits clicking photographers, a super talented girl who actually composed a lovely poem on our trip, a very sweet and talented photoshop artist who clicked walking poses of all of us and is now working on panoramic poster, and a beautiful engaged girl who missed her "to be hubby" a lot. 


It was a trip of a lifetime. Mostly for that one girl, who had her birthday the day we were returning from the trip. She was surprised by a cake on an unknown spot on a highway where there was this most beautiful sunset, lush green meadows and the perfect breeze. It was such a celebration that not only the birthday girl, but everyone present there felt special. 


For all the events of the trip, we already have a lovely poem with us. But the author of that poem skipped the climax which involved double cheese burst pizzas and garlic breads. And then I almost lost my camera and phone after that. But nothing bad happened because it wasn't meant to be like that. And finally I am just glad I was there, living those Magic Moments. 

Software Developer with 1 Year Experience

You guys must be wondering, what a strange heading this is. This is a title given by some job portal to my resume. But when I think about it, may be this is what I have become. A software developer with one year of experience. A whole year has passed. Experience. Talking about experience, I am not only a software developer now. I know how to live alone. I know how to pass time when you have no one and you are bored. Seriously, I can make a list and write a different blog entry about it.

June 7th, 2010 was my date of joining here in Chandigarh. I was so excited, so happy, a little bit nervous. Then came the July 31st, 2011. I went to my office for the last time. The excitement was gone, there was sadness all around and life felt so harsh. But I managed somehow and didn't lose myself. Handled the circumstances, prepared day and night, cracked a couple of interviews. Here I am, planning a new phase of my life. Bigger companies, bigger cities, bigger responsibilities. This is life.

When I look back, I feel that although it wasn't the best year of my life but I don't have any regrets. I learned a lot. Gained a lot. I have become more sincere and responsible I could ever be. I pursued some of my interests. I never thought about writing a blog before. I never imagined I would be reading and researching about technology and gadgets. Sometimes I do feel, I lost a part of me here, but am taking a lot with me. Many things of varying magnitude happened in the last year, but they all mattered somehow.

I bought my first bike. Although it was too late to buy your first bike, but it felt good. Keeping a vehicle all by yourself gives you a unique sense of responsibility as well as independence. Got some of my favorite gadgets. Bought a car for my parents. Did some photography. Wrote some blogs. Read some books. Listened to some music. Learned some technologies.

What I couldn't do was making friends. I liked Chandigarh as a place. But the residents here are different. From different I mean, never saw such people anywhere. They are already satisfied. No one wants to rise. No one wants to get something more out of life. They already have the most clean city, highest per capita income, most planned architecture, and some beautiful girls.But what about the race of life? What about the randomness? What happened to the element of surprise? Aren't they required for real happiness or am I crazy?

Even after all that, the year went by. I came as a fresh graduate. Leaving as a "Software engineer with 1 year experience". Looking forward to my new job, new place, new life. Moving on, as its called. 

The stages of my life

According to the recent life expectancy in India, I have already lived one third of my life. It being a significant portion of my life, it can be divided into certain stages. Every particular stage had a strong emotion or a set of feelings attached to it. So, starting from the very deepest of my memories, I'll try to enumerate the various stages I have survived:

Joy and Happiness - I guess that most of you will agree with me at this point that the only stage of pure happiness and joy is the life that we live in our early childhood. When those small things that may not count at all now used to matter the world to us. We all used to be happy and delighted. There was no pain or sadness in life. I didn't even know the meaning of pain or any other negative feeling. At that stage, even the biggest loss couldn't hurt us and even the smallest gift made us happy. Not even a hint of confusion, sadness, hate or anger at all.

Anger and confusion: After that, comes the stage of anger and confusion. Questions start haunting our small developing brain. Same was the case with me. I had to know about each and every thing I didn't understand. Apart from that, I used to be the most angry or aggressive kid of my class. One of the reason may be that me being the only sikh kid in the whole section, I was teased the most. I used to face all the teasing patiently at first, trying to ignore everyone but eventually the situation used to go out of my hands and I mostly ended up in a slap or fist fight with the other kids. It also affected my behavior at home and I was usually angry with my parents or sister. It all went on like this while I was in school at my hometown till the day I met with an accident was forced to bed rest for two odd months. In those two months, the way I was loved and taken care of, it changed me in many ways. I also learned to give priorities and importance to certain things in life and finally topped the school in 10th boards before leaving for Kota.

Freedom and Determination: Although I was set free to move to Kota, around 800 kms from my home, to live on my own, I never took it in that way. What I felt at that point of time was that, there was someone who invested his savings in me. There was someone at home who believed in me. There was someone who used to pray for my success in JEE everyday. Yes, I am talking about my dad, mom and my sister. Apart from them, even the rest of my family and friends had there expectations from me. I was so determined and focussed during those two years of my life. The confused and angry kid was now becoming an optimistic and excited kid, full of hope and a vision of bright future. In the end, all the optimism and determination paid and I cracked JEE.

Friendliness and Love: This marks the stage that I consider were the best times I have ever lived. It consists of the four legendary years that I spent in IIT. Living in the hostel with hundreds of people around you, this was the time when I realized whats it like to live your life as you like it. There are no rules or restrictions. This is the time when things like friendships and love become the things you care for the most. In those four years, I lived with a broadened mind. I was open to experience. I wanted to try things. I wanted to party, go out, get high, listen to music, watch movies and have the fun of my life. Some part of my heart was also searching for love I guess. But it didn't matter as I was happy and content with all I had. There were friends, music, art, places to explore and many more. It all went pretty well I guess. I won't say that I lived the best college life but it made me happy. It still makes me feel good whenever I think about it.

Boredom and Loneliness: This is some part that I never expected to be a stage of my life. Although I love my job, because its fun, challenging and involves public speaking from time to time which I love to do but still there is that void that makes me sad sometimes. I never wished to live alone and its been almost an year already. Apart from that, those expectations from family and friends have returned again. But this time, that focus and determination is not that strong. Instead there is that urge to live, to be happy, to stay and  party with friends, to have someone to talk to, someone to share your thoughts and ideas with. Sometimes it feels like that my present life is limited to two set of desktops, one at office and another at home.

The story of an empty bench

You have always cared about yourself. You passed by me, sometimes sat down a little or spent your evenings with me. You were always lost in your own world, your own problems. You never realized how I felt when all these people come and go. Today I want to tell you about my own feelings. How sometimes I feel sad, other times am so happy. Some day I have the control, while sometimes I feel so powerless. 

I feel so sad when sometimes that old man, with gloomy eyes, with a walking cane in his shaking hands, come and sit. How he cherishes the sweet memories of his beloved wife who just left him a couple of years ago. You don't know how angry I feel about his son, who lives far far away of his home and couldn't make to his mother's funeral. Yes this is how attached I get to every old man or woman who has a similar story. They are now destined to live alone, no one being there for them at all.

Times are not always sad. Sometimes I am blessed with the company of that beautiful girl who comes once in a week and dreams about a prince. I get so delighted to see her beautiful little face blushing with charm. How gorgeous she gets with the very thought of him. She keeps on waiting but never loses hope. She always leaves me overjoyed with all the hope and love that I can feel with her.

There are days when I get derailed and lose all the focus. When I don't know what to live for. Then I wait for a boy who comes about once or twice every month. I can always see the determination in him when he comes to me with a couple of books in his hands. He comes to me and spend most of his time reading his books and reminding himself of his aim. Sometimes he gets distracted by those couples walking hand in hand or groups singing songs, clicking photos and enjoying themselves, but gets back to work as he stays committed and focused.

On some lovely evenings, when the skies are orange, waters are shiny, leaves are greener and winds have that flowery scent, here comes a couple. In their youth, so energetic, so in love, never getting their eyes off each other. Those are the days am lost in the world of love. They talk of love, romance and how much they care about each other. They talk of their future, of getting old together, living and dying for each other. Sometimes an envious but other times I just pray for them. I know what they have is so precious and priceless that they may not realize how lucky they are to be in love.

I feel so connected to that boy who is so lonely and lives all alone. I don't know who he is. He never speaks to anyone. Always keeps to himself. He is always lost, confused and baffled. Unsure of everything, he always keeps on thinking. Just like me, he comes and spend hours staring at the waters and the ducks in it. Sometimes he enjoys the beauty of nature but other times he just gets sad and lonely. I am always crushed to see how everyone is so indifferent about his existence. 

I am always keen to have those little children around me. They come, hide behind me, play with me and sometimes sleep on their parents' lap when they are tired of all those activities. I never mind when they get me dirty or spill drinks on me because they are the ones who remind me of life. They remind me of freedom, surprise and randomness. I realize that I belong here, I need to be here for them. 

But you know what, I can give up on all of them just to see that one special face once again. I still remember that day she was here. She were the only one who made me feel special and taken care of. But then she was gone and I stayed. I had to stay while she left and never came back.

An Empty Bench.

A Special day with someone Special...

It was a lovely morning. I know because that day I woke up so early. Yes you guessed it right. I used to wake up in the afternoon those days. So, I woke up and got ready. I was excited. It was the third day of Rendezvous and every one was sleeping as they partied till late night. I did the same too. But I couldn't just sleep any more. So I wore my favorite 'Park Avenue' shirt and the only 'Killer' jeans I had at that time. Wore a full size turban which I wore in very rare cases. I called and confirmed the time when she will meet me in IIT. Yes its about a day I spent with someone. Someone who was there for sometime in my life and I used to consider myself the luckiest of all. Someone whom I was talking to on phone from last few days but never saw her. Someone about whom I heard that she was the most beautiful girl of her campus.

Finally my phone rang and it showed her name on it. "Oh my god...!!!" was actually my thought at that very moment. She was actually there. Just downstairs. I was full of various feelings. Thrilled but anxious at the same time. I was actually worried about my outfit which usually was not the case with IITans as no one cared at all. (IIT was more or less a boys college for us, so no one cared about clothing and stuff. But Rendezvous was different I guess.) After I succeeded to have a calm and relaxed face, I went downstairs. As I exited our hostel's gate, there she was.

Standing near the Jwala round about, there she was with all her beauty and grace. A beauty beyond words. A treasure I must say. So gorgeous yet so delicate that you can feel the purity and sweetness. Long black hair covering her whole back and arranged so nicely as if each one of them was taken care of separately. Her face, so angelic with perfect blue eyes, so deep that you'll never find yourself once you are lost in them. As I was going near her, I felt something tickling my soul inside me. I went and took her soft hand in mine and asked about her journey to IIT.

We started walking towards the admin area. As we walked, all of a sudden I realized that everyone was looking at us. Without exception, even if someone had to turn around, they looked at us. Actually not at us but her. Although I tried to ignore that but it happened for rest of the day.

She hadn't eaten anything till that time so I took her to subway. We were talking all the time and I was enjoying her company and she felt the same I hope. So the whole day passed and we roamed around in SDA, IIT, went to select city walk and then finally came to IIT to attend the live concert of Mohit Chauhan. The original plan was to call her roomies too for the concert but the passes couldn't be arranged. I must confess here that I was actually glad about that. I wanted to spend the rest of the day in the same fashion. I didn't wish for anything else and I didn't want anyone else.

Listening to the lovely songs of Mohit Chauhan, I took her hand in mine and felt as if I was the happiest person in that crowd of nearly 5000 people. As the music was so loud, I had to go very close to her to say anything and I could smell the scent of her and that was the only thing I could smell at that moment. Although I was surrounded by a huge crowd, loud noises and bright lights, nothing felt real. I was lost.

The show ended and she had to return. The day was going to end. We started walking towards the main gate from the open air theater. Again as we walked holding hands, the way was so new to me. I had walked there for thousand times already but it never felt so animated to me. Felt like a path among a wonderland. The silky golden top she was wearing and her angelic face reminded me of the description of those princesses and the wonderlands in fairy tales.

As it was too late, I had to go with her. Actually I wanted to. On the way to her place, she handed me a beautiful archies' notepad she used to keep with her. I took it and thanked her. We reached her place. She told me that she had a wonderful time and I expressed similar feelings. I left with a heart which was full of life the whole day but was sinking with the heaviness of being away from her. Parting from her was something I couldn't even think of. But I had to.