The stages of my life

According to the recent life expectancy in India, I have already lived one third of my life. It being a significant portion of my life, it can be divided into certain stages. Every particular stage had a strong emotion or a set of feelings attached to it. So, starting from the very deepest of my memories, I'll try to enumerate the various stages I have survived:

Joy and Happiness - I guess that most of you will agree with me at this point that the only stage of pure happiness and joy is the life that we live in our early childhood. When those small things that may not count at all now used to matter the world to us. We all used to be happy and delighted. There was no pain or sadness in life. I didn't even know the meaning of pain or any other negative feeling. At that stage, even the biggest loss couldn't hurt us and even the smallest gift made us happy. Not even a hint of confusion, sadness, hate or anger at all.

Anger and confusion: After that, comes the stage of anger and confusion. Questions start haunting our small developing brain. Same was the case with me. I had to know about each and every thing I didn't understand. Apart from that, I used to be the most angry or aggressive kid of my class. One of the reason may be that me being the only sikh kid in the whole section, I was teased the most. I used to face all the teasing patiently at first, trying to ignore everyone but eventually the situation used to go out of my hands and I mostly ended up in a slap or fist fight with the other kids. It also affected my behavior at home and I was usually angry with my parents or sister. It all went on like this while I was in school at my hometown till the day I met with an accident was forced to bed rest for two odd months. In those two months, the way I was loved and taken care of, it changed me in many ways. I also learned to give priorities and importance to certain things in life and finally topped the school in 10th boards before leaving for Kota.

Freedom and Determination: Although I was set free to move to Kota, around 800 kms from my home, to live on my own, I never took it in that way. What I felt at that point of time was that, there was someone who invested his savings in me. There was someone at home who believed in me. There was someone who used to pray for my success in JEE everyday. Yes, I am talking about my dad, mom and my sister. Apart from them, even the rest of my family and friends had there expectations from me. I was so determined and focussed during those two years of my life. The confused and angry kid was now becoming an optimistic and excited kid, full of hope and a vision of bright future. In the end, all the optimism and determination paid and I cracked JEE.

Friendliness and Love: This marks the stage that I consider were the best times I have ever lived. It consists of the four legendary years that I spent in IIT. Living in the hostel with hundreds of people around you, this was the time when I realized whats it like to live your life as you like it. There are no rules or restrictions. This is the time when things like friendships and love become the things you care for the most. In those four years, I lived with a broadened mind. I was open to experience. I wanted to try things. I wanted to party, go out, get high, listen to music, watch movies and have the fun of my life. Some part of my heart was also searching for love I guess. But it didn't matter as I was happy and content with all I had. There were friends, music, art, places to explore and many more. It all went pretty well I guess. I won't say that I lived the best college life but it made me happy. It still makes me feel good whenever I think about it.

Boredom and Loneliness: This is some part that I never expected to be a stage of my life. Although I love my job, because its fun, challenging and involves public speaking from time to time which I love to do but still there is that void that makes me sad sometimes. I never wished to live alone and its been almost an year already. Apart from that, those expectations from family and friends have returned again. But this time, that focus and determination is not that strong. Instead there is that urge to live, to be happy, to stay and  party with friends, to have someone to talk to, someone to share your thoughts and ideas with. Sometimes it feels like that my present life is limited to two set of desktops, one at office and another at home.